


the @ key is free

by ataxophilia



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 20:18:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5347268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ataxophilia/pseuds/ataxophilia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>@oldestandwittiest<br/>@ADOTHAM ALEXANDER WHAT DID YOU DO TO JEFFERSON THIS TIME???</p>
<p>@oldestandwittiest <br/>@ADOTHAM ALL ELIZA WOULD TELL ME IS, QUOTE, ‘SIGH’, UNQUOTE</p>
<p>or: Hamilton, Twitter, and the Jefferson dinner party where AHam trolled TJeffs epically.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the @ key is free

**Author's Note:**

> Well I could hardly say no to a prompt like this, could I?

@ _TJefferson_    
once again i have been rendered aghast by the knowledge that certain individuals are respected politicians. 

@ _TJefferson_    
sometimes people make mistakes that aren’t worth correcting. other times they’re just so WRONG it’s not within our power to correct them.

@ _TJefferson_    
tonight’s wisdom: the only thing debating with a fool gets you is a headache

* * *

@ _ADOTHAM_    
someone tell @TJefferson the @ key is free 

* * *

@ _JamesMads_    
enlightening evening with @TJefferson and @ADOTHAM tonight 

* * *

@ _oldestandwittiest_  
@ADOTHAM ALEXANDER WHAT DID YOU DO TO JEFFERSON THIS TIME???

@ _oldestandwittiest_  
@ADOTHAM ALL ELIZA WOULD TELL ME IS, QUOTE, ‘SIGH’, UNQUOTE

@ _oldestandwittiest_  
@ADOTHAM IF YOU STARTED DRAMA WITHOUT ME SO HELP ME I WILL MURDER YOU 

@ _eliiiiiza_  
@oldestandwittiest @ADOTHAM angelica please don’t encourage him

* * *

@ _freedom_for_all_  
is anyone close enough to @ADOTHAM to hit him for keeping us all in suspense like this?

@ _freedom_for_all_  
@ADOTHAM we want the story!!

@ _eliiiiiza_    
@freedom_for_all @ADOTHAM this is what mobiles are for, john

@ _oldestandwittiest_  
@eliiiiiza @freedom_for_all @ADOTHAM but where’s the fun in that???

* * *

@ _ADOTHAM_    
OKAY SO 

@ _ADOTHAM_    
since you’re all so desperate to know (ahem @freedom_for_all @oldestandwittiest @frenchnfighting)

@ _ADOTHAM_    
earlier this evening i attended a delightful dinner party hosted by none other than our dear @TJefferson 

* * *

@ _TJefferson_  
oh hell no there is no way i’m letting @ADOTHAM tell this story

* * *

@ _oldestandwittiest_  
@ADOTHAM @TJefferson i like this story already

* * *

@ _ADOTHAM_    
so essentially we’re waiting for the usual mac’n’cheese to be heated up

@ _ADOTHAM_    
and @TJefferson is giving us like a tour of his?? portrait gallery?? man-cave?? idr what he called it 

@ _TJefferson_    
@ADOTHAM you know what a lounge is 

@ _TJefferson_    
@ADOTHAM and we had salmon 

@ _TJefferson_    
@ADOTHAM and you ASKED me to tell you about the paintings

* * *

@ _frenchnfighting_  
@ADOTHAM @freedom_for_all a little part of me is really hoping they were all pictures of jefferson

@ _freedom_for_all_  
@frenchnfighting @ADOTHAM like proper traditional hand-painted portraits??

@ _frenchnfighting_  
@freedom_for_all @ADOTHAM ‘oh yes i had these whipped up a few years ago’

@ _freedom_for_all_  
@frenchnfighting @ADOTHAM ‘each one took three months and cost the salary of eighty of my cleaners’

* * *

@ _TJefferson_    
i invited my guests into the lounge for some conversation and drinks while the food was being prepared

@ _TJefferson_    
and of course @ADOTHAM goes straight up to the three portraits i have up in the room

@ _TJefferson_    
@ADOTHAM and he asks me who the pictures are of, as if any intelligent man wouldn’t recognise them

@ _TJefferson_    
@ADOTHAM and i, being a good host who understands etiquette, told him they were the three greatest minds the world has ever produced 

* * *

@ _ADOTHAM_  
so get this: @TJefferson has professionally painted portraits of locke, bacon and newton up in his living room because he is still (…)

@ _ADOTHAM_  
(…) capable of kissing ass even when the asses in question are long dead old white guys

@ _ADOTHAM_    
apparently they’re ‘the greatest men in history’ or something 

@ _ADOTHAM_    
and honestly, how was i supposed to take something like that with a straight face

* * *

@ _freedom_for_all_  
@ADOTHAM this story is already killing me

@ _oldestandwittiest_  
@ADOTHAM I’M SO MAD I’M IN ENGLAND 

@ _frenchnfighting_  
@oldestandwittiest @ADOTHAM WELCOME TO THE STUCK-IN-EUROPE CLUB

@ _eliiiiiza_  
@frenchnfighting @oldestandwittiest @freedom_for_all @ADOTHAM i regret the days i met each and every one of you

@ _oldestandwittiest_  
@eliiiiiza that is NO WAY to speak to your big sister, missy

* * *

@ _ADOTHAM_    
don’t worry, it gets better 

@ _eliiiiiza_  
@ADOTHAM i think you misspelt ‘worse’

@ _ADOTHAM_  
@eliiiiiza you wound me, love

* * *

@ _TJefferson_  
so there i was, in the middle of what i thought was an intelligent discussion about history, when @ADOTHAM turned to me and said (…)

* * *

@ _ADOTHAM_  
i told him that in my personal opinion, julius caesar was the greatest man to ever live on this earth

* * *

@ _TJefferson_    
@ADOTHAM (…) and i quote, “the greatest man that ever lived was julius caesar” 

* * *

@ _oldestandwittiest_  
@ADOTHAM I JUST LAUGHED SO HARD IT WOKE MY KID UP

@ _freedom_for_all_  
@ADOTHAM one of these days jefferson is gonna snap and you’ll wake up dead

* * *

@ _TJefferson_    
i repeat: julius caesar!! hamilton thinks julius caeser is the greatest man in all of history!! 

@ _TJefferson_  
and this man is on our government!! i dread the day he decides to run for president

* * *

@ _ADOTHAM_    
stopping myself from laughing hysterically for the rest of the evening was the hardest thing i’ve ever done

@ _oldestandwittiest_  
@ADOTHAM I THINK MY LAUGHTER IS SCARRING THE SPROG. YOU’RE FOOTING ANY THERAPY BILLS.

@ _frenchnfighting_  
@ADOTHAM WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE TO HAVE SEEN HIS FACE

@ _freedom_for_all_  
@ADOTHAM I’M GOING TO EVERY DINNER PARTY YOU’RE AT FROM NOW ON

* * *

@ _eliiiiiza_    
sigh.

* * *

@ _aBurr_  
 I don’t know why I’m surprised.

**Author's Note:**

> Why are prominent political figures so casual on their twitter accounts? Who knows. Artistic license. 
> 
> It's like Swan said: 'what are we even as a fandom if we're not writing alexander hamilton's twitter screeds since he couldn't do so for himself'


End file.
